when life hands you a lemon...

make lemonade ;)
okay, so suffice to say, summer really hasn't got off to the best possible start this year for me. however, being an eternal optimist (and not to mention, a very strong person, when i need to be) i've managing to find the silver linings to the blackest cloud i have had for a while. everything happens for a reason, as one door closes, another opens, yadda yadda yadda. suffice to say, it's not been the best week of my existance, or one that i'll look back on with happiness. however, i really do think these kind of experiences are the ones that build you into a much stronger person. life really is too short to live with regrets, and in the past four months i really have had none :) and i know i will always look back on that short period of my life and smile.

enough of the emo angst (god knows i've had enough of it!), now for the fun stuff. and despite everything, there has been a lot of fun stuff. last night we did the now traditional 'getting hammered in york' shebang. which involved us being kicked out of two places (dusk and pitcher and piano) and having to sneak round the back of the other two (lowther and vodka revs.) oh the joys of being a non-ID-carrying seventeen year old. i literally cannot wait for my birthday. only two months to go now, and i still haven't decided on if i'm even going to bother having a party. although i really think i should. i just need to think of a decent venue. my dad wants to hire out the bluebell in the village (aka, local drinking establishment of fourteen year olds, aka the place where without fail i am accosted by old men/friends of my dad/men who think rubbing stuffed deers on my leg is the way to my heart). naturally i have veto'd this idea entirely. i'm thinking of a classy do somewhere, but i have no idea where. then there is the whole guestlist/what shall i wear?/where should everyone stay? kerfuffle. too much for my head to deal with right now, or i might actually explode.

the whole turning eighteen thing makes me think a lot about the end of childhood, to be fair. whilst i don't expect to wake up on september 26th and feel like a different person, in a way, i really feel like i have grown up more over the past year. it's been a whirlwind actually, and i still can't believe that this time last year, i didn't know the amazing people that i do now. not returning to the girls' high in september was the best decision i've ever made really, instead of being the pretentious almost-rah that i was threatening to come, i feel like i've become someone who, if not always likeable, at least bearable ;). i still make stupid decisions and i still have days where i wake up and look in the mirror and think urrrrgh, but on the whole i'm a much more balanced and confident person. and it really is the people who've walked into my life this year who have enabled that, so if any of you arseholes has stopped smoking/drinking yourselves into oblivion long enough to read this, then thank you :)

but yes, i've decided i'm going to compile a list of my eighteen favourite memories from childhood, a little bit closer to my birthday. something tells me most of them will involve me doings things i really shouldn't have done (memories of throwing up all over pete cronin in wetherspoons etc...), but on the whole, i've been a pretty good girl methinks.

right, enough of my semi-philosophical ramblings. i need to go straighten my hair. the mushroom is in bad shape right now.

victoria x