queen of the geordies

okay guys, time to come clean. i've been suffering with hairy feet for some time now and with the support of those nearest and dearest to me i've been able to confront my insecurites and display my tootsies with pride. the hair is here to stay, i think it just adds to my already ravishing beauty...

the past few days have been a lot better and considerably more stress-free, thank goodness. even though work is still burning on my mind, i'm learning to accept the fact that i might not receive the four As that i always assumed were guarenteed. i'm hoping i do my very best, i know that by the end of my gcses i had completley run out of steam and didn't perform as well as i could/should have. however i have genuine motivation to keep me going- the prospect of newcastle for which i will need at the very least AAB will hopefully make sure that i get my arse in gear and work. saying that, right now i should be preparing for my mock french oral tomorrow and i'm not, so... :/. however, it's hard to be totally stressed out when for once, everything else in life seems to be going just absolutley right and i've been all smiley, for various reasons.

one of those reasons is that today finally felt like the first day of spring. now i think that england is the most beautiful place in the world throughout all the seasons- each one has something to offer, even winter when everything is cold and dead. but spring is really special, everything feels so alive and new, fresh beginnings and all that. today the sun was shining, the daffodils were out in full force and we sat on the lawn outside college and had a very mini picnic and i just thought, this is the life! i hope the good weather continues, i'm not a 'cold wrap up warm' person at all, i can't wait for the long lazy summer.

oxbridge conference yesterday up in newcastle. becca drove me there and back, and at first i was slightly nervous as i didn't know her well at all, however we totally hit it off straight away and had a brilliant road trip, involving mcdonalds and cheesy music and getting lost around newcastle trying to find a piercing studio. i'm seriously considering getting a nose stud, but i'm terrified i'll look all common, i might do a little survey tomorrow to find out what people think of them haha. i watched becca get her industrial done, and i have to say, just looking at a needle made me feel slightly ill. however, one has to suffer in the name of fashion i suppose. it's funny how i travelled all the way to newcastle for an oxbridge conference and ended up falling in love with the city itself. it seemed so cosmopolitan and the people so friendly, whereas the students and tutors from oxbridge seemed almost cold and clinicial. i know i can't be happy in a place where work will always, always come first and for that reason i've decided oxbridge definitly isn't for me and i'm not going to waste a UCAS place applying. (not that i'd get in anyway). the parents are thrilled by this decision, espcially my 'inverted snob' dad who hates jack wills/ugg culture almost as much as i do. i think they'd already guessed that i would decide that oxbridge wasn't for me, and they want me to stay close to home. hopefully if i can get in somewhere like newcastle, it'll be the best of both worlds.

anyway i'm rather tired and i really should prepare for the french oral tomorrow and try to get just a little bit of sleep- i'm running low on slumber time at the moment- so i will bid adieu. 'parting is such sweet sorrow' as darling chris would say.

victoria x

"mr bennett, you have no compassion for my poor nerves!"

so yes, stress. over the past few days/weeks/whatever, i've been suffering with that particular problem. now don't get me wrong, it's not a depressing kind of stress, more the kind that makes you want to punch something and go 'AAAAAARGH'. i'm not usually prone to tears at all but i had a bit of a crying fit with mother-dearest the other night because i have to let out all this stressful angry energy sometimes.

what is the reason for this newfound stresshead? i really just don't know, it isn't like me at all to be overly paranoid and cross and basically 'rawwwwwwwwwh!'. a lot of it is down to work, it's just hit me recently that i have big bad exams in what, eight weeks? or something equally ridiculous, and i know nothing. the only subject i am confident of passing with a really good mark is le francais, six months of slacking off in english lit and not even trying to comprehend history has done me no favours, i fear. don't get me started on theatre- six weeks to pull together an entire show is an extremely daunting prospect and if we fail miserably i'm going to be very bitter. however, i have great confidence in my fellow thespians that we will do ourselves proud. i've decided that as of now i am blowing my stresses away on a cloud. it's time for me to remember that the world isn't going to end if things go slightly pear-shaped, and that i can use my inner genius to pass all my exams with flying colours and get a full scholarship to oxbridge and become a nobel peace prize winner and marry stephen fry. that'd be fun.

wednesday nights are pretty much my favourite thing in the whole world right now, waterloo road/gossip girl fest, oh yes. i shall be quite desolate when the series finish. i'm paticularly enjoying waterloo road right now, maxine's death, cry cry. i knew it was coming, but still *weeps*. and then after my tv fest i'm going to read some more anna karenina, which i'm totally hearting so far, it's like pride and prej but russian which makes it all exotic and wow. i wish i was a russian princess like kitty. princess victoriana finyani. i think my natural regal grace is going to waste sometimes, i was obv born to sit on a throne.

speaking of thrones, i saw the young victoria on saturday. i loved it, it was historically accurate, gorgeous costumes, emily blunt and rupert friend had amazing onscreen chemistry so it basically ticked all the 'perfect period drama' boxes. i've actually never been a big 'victorian' person, but i've been doing a bit of background reading since watching the film and i'm finding all quite interesting. they may take over the tudors as my reigning historical obsession, god knows i'm sick to bloody death of cardinal wolsey and his crappy little treaty of london. i am going to fail history and it makes me sad. such is life.

lent is also going well, it is almost three weeks since i touched the demon drop and i feel like a much healthier, cleaner person- almost a new me, you could say. well okay, that's a lie, but i do like the fact that i'm doing something actually challenging and i'm determined to stick it out. alcohol plays a big part in nearly every social event i find myself at, and it's strange to be saying 'no thank you' instead of 'yes please!' but at least i'm not making a tit of myself all the time. well no, i still am making a tit of myself all the time, but at least i can remember it. whether this is better or worse remains to be seen!

anyway i can almost hear the chimes of waterloo road beginning so i shall love you and leave you. i feel calmer for writing my stresses down actually, it's a good job, because i was getting so stressed i was almost at the point of explosion. and whilst seeing me spotaneously combust would probably be very amusing, it could be slightly painful. for me anyway.

vic x

i return- fanfares please.

hello hello, to anyone who has been checking this blog every single hour in need of a new post (in which case please leave your name and address, a restraining order may be needed), i am very sorry! for once, real life (which means oodles of college work and knackeredness) has caught up on me and prevented me from posting. however it's friday night and i've found myself with nothing to do, so i thought an update was in order!

this week has been overly dramatic, it's like everything has been humdrum for the past few weeks and now it's all exploded. some of it is very good, some of it is bad. by nature, i'm not an argumentative or confrontational person- it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers and i hate any kind of falling out. so yesterday was pretty hard for me, having a massive argument with one of my closest friends. however, friendships are a bit like marriages, you have to work, and it's all 'give and take'. the particular girl in question i've been bezzers with for nearly six months now and we've never had any kind of major argument, so perhaps a bit of air clearing was needed? in any case things are fine now and i'm back to my normal chirpy self!

just watched last night's episode of skins and i think that it's one of the best in the series so far- JJ instantly became the most likeable and real character in the programme and the only one i can universally sympathise with (except pandora, who IS me). i thought the debussy music was inspired as well, it juxtaposed so well with the action scenes like cook and JJ running from the police. i don't know, i was really sceptical about this series of skins at first, and i still have to say series one is my all time favourite- but i don't agree at all with the massive backlash against this series. it's not the same programme- there have been fundamental changes, but in a lot of cases i think this is for the better and i can't wait to see how the rest of the series pans out :)

tomorrow will hopefully be fun. i'm seeing my own ron and hermione (also known as ryan and francesca) in leeds for shopping and cinema and general reunion times. it's weird how even just a couple of weeks after seeing them i feel as if i've lost a limb. i shall jump on them both tomorrow and we'll go to mcdonald's, because we're scaffs and it's the only place cheap enough. plus i want to save my money because i believe it's high time i bought a new going out dress. there's actually a nice one in primarni, £13, yer can't go wrong! i had to donate my last fiver to richard today, after losing our 'who will pass their driving test first' bet. the only silver lining is that he's agreed to drive me into college on thursdays, so i now get a second lie in every week! good, i've been needing more and more zzzzzzs recently.

yummy, i'm listening to travis, i'd forgotten how much i loved them albeit in a rather cringey way. spotify is my new best friend, if you don't have it, you should totes download it. it has every single album you can imagine on it so i'm rediscovering some right gems :) i'm thinking billie piper next? oh dear did i just say that out loud...

anyway i'm taking my leave as i have stuff to do, people to see, deals to make, you know, it's a busy life mine! bahaha. oh gosh driving tomorrow. last lesson wasn't my finest hour, making the instructor scream as i nearly cavorted into some old woman's car is quite funny looking back... however i really don't believe i'm supposed to be on the roads. i might stick to public transport and rely on my increasing number of driving friends to ferry me about :) thanks guys!

nanight, victoria x