i gyve unto my wief my second best bed

letters to and from my 12 year old self.

sometimes i think you knew more than i do
as you sit there pen in hand, chewing for the right word
they say wisdom comes with age, but i cannot offer you the solace you deserved

dear diary, he's so fit, he looked at me today
do you think he likes me dear diary? no he doesn't
silly girl, stop dreaming, start living
plenty of time for your first kiss
you'll cry after it anyway and wish you'd waited for something sweeter

you're more lovely innocent then you'll ever be corrupted
kohl-less eyes and your sticky first lip gloss
cheap perfume smudged onto maths homework
square roots aren't as important as you'd think

i can see you now lying in my old single bed
hair sprayed ungracefully on the pillow
dreaming of some guy on the bus who remarked on how caramel it was
(you always used to think it was yellow as dishwater)
and of how your world would be straight and simple in five years time

dear diary, youth is wasted on the young, love victoria.

okay, i'm not sure on the title, or the last line. think they're a bit cheesy, but it's a good effort and i'm pretty pleased with it. i feel as if i'm getting back into the swing of things now and will hopefully one day produce my masterpiece and become the next emily dickinson and have lots of people kiss my grave and leave lipstick marks, a la oscar wilde. (yes you can tell i've been watching paris je t'aime clips on youtube).

snow was lahvely yesterday, i hate that awful slushy yellow stuff we normally get in england so to wake up to at least six inches of beautiful powdery proper crunchy snow was amazing. i didn't have to think twice about taking the day off college, and me and ellie had a lazy day walking through the village and throwing snowballs at eachother (i will just digress to say that i LOVE that girl and i am so glad we've put our issues behind us and got close again. i missed you hamsterface!) then we went back to hers and spent the rest of the day eating out her house and baking the world's worst chocolate cake with icing that tasted of pure alcohol. after which i persuaded ellie to watch shakespeare in love with me. oh my god, joseph fiennes. oh my god, ben affleck, oh my god, COLIN FIRTH. needless to say the film was a success with both of us, and it would be a lovely story if it were true. poor anne hathaway, i always used to feel so sorry for her until i read the poem by carol ann duffy. which gave a different, if probably inaccurate spin on things!

so yeah it's short but sweet today (like me then!). the more discerning of you may have noticed the music player toodling along in the background, i filled it up last night with about thirty songs- they're not necessarily all my favourites (i couldn't find my favourite ever song, i will follow you into the dark) but they are all choons that are making me happy and thoughtful at this moment in time. had to include some musical tracks for old times sake haha. but if anyone doesn't like it- i'll freely admit it's a bit myspace- let me know and i'll whisk it off a.s.a.p.

also i am FINALLY reading a decent book to get my teeth into- rebecca by daphne du maurier which i've had lingering on my shelf for about a year. so far 100 pages in, i'm really enjoying it and i'm totally getting the whole 'you're supposed to fall in love with the dead wife, not the narrator' thing. recommended to anyone who fancies a good murder mystery, i've heard the film is supposed to be a cracker as well, might have to buy it to watch over half term :)

anyway i'm off for some peri-peri chicken, yum!
victoria x

ps. they've opened an american apparal in manchester. god i know you're watching this and i know you love me- so please get the powers that be to open one in leeds?! thank you.