so yesterday was crazy day. i have them every so often. where everything just seems to be all crappy and stupid and worthless and it takes someone shaking me and telling me to stop being such an arsehole to make it better. i was talking to kathryn about it, after amy had managed to calm me down slightly from being in a general seething piss with the world, and i reckon it's because coming to college has made me so much happier that when i DO get in my occasional strop it hits me doubly hard. if that makes sense? probably not but since when did i ever make sense? i think it was just a general combination of being skint, having a really bad haircut and not filling my weekly quota of doritos that sent my brain a bit whack.
today's been much, much better thank goodness. driving lesson this morning which went surprisingly well. i managed to stop and start and steer the car (why are there so many st-s in driving?!) without killing anyone and i didn't come home threatening to quit, unlike last week. so it can only be an improvement. apart from that it's been a general day of nothingness except a quick trip to see grandmama and tante susan. it's funny but no matter how old i am, i still feel daunted by walking back from my grandma's in the dark. there's a wall across the street with a big wood behind it and i can always imagine little goblins watching me from the tree. and then next door to my grandma's house is the abandoned waterworks, sitting on a hill looking like some menacing haunted house with a half-expected ghostly girl grimacing out of the window. i still have to hold my breath and run past that, it's something to do with my phobia of mirrors and windows. i hate and cannot get used to having a mirror opposite my bed, if i ever have to get up in the middle of the night i have to actually run straight past it because i'm literally scared of my own reflection, i don't know, that it's going to come out and kill me or something. haha, i guess all the childhood stories about chanting bloody mary seven times in front of a mirror really affected me. same with windows- the curtains HAVE to be shut at night, couldn't do with waking up and seeing some old witch perving on me.
blegggg i feel so physically scratty at the moment, i'm having serious domestic issues with my hair and my face. one day i swear i will wake up and look like, i don't know, audrey hepburn or keira knightley or amy (it is so annoying having such gorgeous friends sometimes :P), AND i'll be six inches taller. until then i'll content myself by writing very silly poetry about how annoying it is having baby sized hands and ears and feet. i shouldn't complain, of everything i actually like my feet.
so i started watching pot luck (or l'auberge espagnole to give it its original french title). i have about half an hour left til the end, but all the way through i felt i was missing some big idea that was supposed to make the film really clever and funny like the reviews said it is. it just seemed a bit up its own arse, with directors and actors achingly aware of how 'hip' they were. i can't sympathise with any of the characters either, not even audrey tautou's martine who just seems really bland and one of those painfully irritating 'I MUST BE WITH MY BOYFRIEND 24 HOURS A DAY' kind of girl. i'll probably finish watching the film to see the ending, but i'm not expecting any miracles.
too many films i want to see at the moment, actually. benjamin button, the reader, revolutionary road, frost/nixon, arrrgh. i'm considering getting one of those cineworld cards, the amount of times i've been at the pictures recently. i'm becoming quite the little cinephile :)
i was hit with a very rare 'story inspiration' tonight, an idea that intrigues me so after i've finished this blog i might have a go at jotting some thoughts down. i haven't really ever written a decent story before (unless you count my 25 page teen romance opus written by my 13 year old self- even then i should have known better) and it's something i kind of want to have a stab at, so watch this space. i'll be letting you know how it goes.
victoria x
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment