okay so i've stuck my smiley face back where it belongs and yesterday and today have brightened things up, thank goodness! i hate being all drippy and sappy so not feeling turd-like is a great relief! however at the moment i am smiling through gritted, gritted teeth after my lovely day at the girls' high yesterday has been soured by the news today that one of my close mates is being kicked out. not because of, i don't know, drugs or bullying or something that would reasonably get you kicked out of college, no. the nice pies at the girls' high are kicking her out because "she wasn't working hard enough." i'm sorry, even as a born-again hard grafter, but i have to say that is the most ridiculous excuse to expel anyone, ever. by "not working hard enough" the senior management team are basically saying to my friend "look, you're not going to get AAA on results day, we don't want you here." it's pissed me off so much, urgh. just a few weeks before her a2 exams as well, now she's just been left in the lurch. hopefully she'll be coming to col in september to re do her a2s, but still. what pisses me off more is that two boys over at the boys school cockslapped a girl in my year the other day and have got off pretty much scot free, that's blatant sexism for you. mnnnrgh. makes me so glad i've left, i think i'd be in the same boat had i stayed on!
having said all that, i did have a lovely day visiting yesterday. it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder and seeing all my posh friends (love you guys!) in their suits did make me feel proud and almost a little wistful. it's funny how you can be away from a place for so long but still feel like you belong there when you go back, albeit if only for a few hours. of course i had to literally jump on every single person who walked through the common room with cries of "oh my gawwwd i've missed you so much!" and then make ryan walk me around school to try to find people i knew. everyone was staring at us as we walked by and i asked him if it was because my leaving had made such an impact that people were stunned by my return. however he brutally quashed my dreams of leaving a legacy by telling me "actually vicky, i think it's because i'm a boy...walking round an all girls school". i'd forgotten how we used to treat the male sixth formers you'd occasionally see in the corridors as local-celebrities, it was even funnier how all the small children assumed me and ryan were a couple- i was a bit naughty with this, i had a go at a year eight for saying she always thought ryan was gay ("i find the fact that you think my boyfriend is gay pretty offensive actually!").
but yes, it was nice to see everybody, although it served as a reminder that i am really happy where i am and certainly made the right choice in coming to college. i don't think i could cope permanantly with the stifling atmosphere and the overwhelming pressure to achieve, not to mention the stark financial situation of some of the girls' compared to my own (and most of my new friends'). i take for example one girl- who is absolutly lovely in her defence- who was upset because the courtesy car she'd been sent after crashing her new mini cooper is a fiat punto. i'm sorry but i would kill (not people, perhaps a bird or a small rodent) for a fiat punto or indeed any set of wheels. heck i wouldn't mind a three wheeler, in fact i think they're pretty cool in a vintagey way. just have to pass my test first, and that's the complicated bit. andrewboy passed his yesterday with one minor, the bloody driving savant. i'm going to full on make him take me on so many roadtrips in the holidays for all the times he's called me fat/nicked my hairband/been a general dick to me. scarborough here we come! haha.
so yeah, i'm knackered- i always am- and i'm psyched about skins tonight, and i can't believe i actually used the word psyched and i want to have some tea and wash my mop before it comes on and stuff, so i'm going to love you and leave you whilst i tuck into some lettuce. i've been so healthy today, it kills me inside. my effort to stay this side of twenty stone is wearing thin, i think i might just give up to the chips and cake and die a happy old lady, stuck to the sofa. haha imagine if they had to get a crane or something to pull me out, like in what's eating gilbert grape. oh wait no, they didn't get a crane, they just burnt down the house, with the fat woman in it, because she was too massive to move. that was a hilarious, if slightly disturbing movie. it's always weird to see a pre-titanic leo, and still find his 14 year old self attractive. even if he is past it now. oh leo, how disappointing. you were so beautiful in titanic, why did you have to die, just because stupid kate winslet wouldnt shove her ass up a bit on that floating door. you didn't deserve it leo, you should have been with someone like me.
anyway i digress! finally taking my leave :)
a bientot, victoria x
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