Sunday 18 January 2009

reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated.

i finally feel well enough to write a blog, although still not 100%. my nose is smeared in vaseline to stop it drying and flaking up, ick ick. but at least i'm sneezing once every 30 seconds so hopefully i'm well on the way to blissful post-cold recovery!

this weekend has been lovely and uneventful, just the way i like it. i took the promised day off on friday to recuperate, and ended up in my duvet in the living room watching winnie the pooh. it was just like being a five year old off poorly with a tummy ache and the adventures of owl and eeyore and pooh cheered me up no end. i'd forgotten how much i used to worship that bloody bear, i could still remember all the songs. disney films were SO much better pre 1990. okay, they had the whole lion king/beauty and the beast renaissance, but you can't compare to snow white/sleeping beauty etc. i remember when i used to literally think i WAS snow white waiting for my prince. that girl was my first hero. i still get goosebumps when i hear old disney songs, they remind me of a simpler time when it didn't matter who was pulling who and hangovers didn't exist, and the most taxing thing on my mind was whether to do some colouring or play in the sandpit.

friday night was immense as well, i met up with becky and we went to see slumdog millionaire. i cannot recommend this film enough to anyone who is reading this. the acting was out of this world, especially by the slum kids who play the younger version of anwar's character (sorry dev patel, you will always be anwar to me). it was a really poignant piece of cinema, one which made me laugh and cry (well nearly) and most importantly, think. it was one of those films which sticks in your memory for ages after, i'm still thinking about it now. dev patel was actually semi-impressive as well, from being a very weak actor in skins he has developed his skills. i still think calls for him to get best actor at the oscars are ridiculous but maybe in a few years time hey?

carried on the disney theme on saturday by watching mary poppins, which again i'd forgotten how much i love. i love the idealized view of london it represents, and it's just so magical and twee. mary is so becoming my new style icon, i need a parrot umbrella as a matter of urgency. julie andrews is just perfect, i watched some of the princess diaries on youtube so i could carry on my hero worship of her. what a legend. mary poppins pisses over maria, i don't know her surname, but the one from the sound of music. i mean if i could choose to have a nanny who could either a) jump into pictures and make them real, fly and tidy up rooms at a click of her finger or b) play edelweiss on guitar, i know which one i'd pick.

and then today i saw ryan, francesca and olivia lewis in good old leeds. i love the fact that no matter how long i stay away from the wakefield lot, when i'm back with them it's like we've never been apart. i also like how they don't know me as the "posh" one so i can be as disgustingly uncouth as i like in front of them. full on ran into ryan's arms in the train station, what a romantic moment. i swear one day me and that boy are going to have beautiful child, bahaha. no, he fills the "best male friend" role in my life very nicely and is still the only boy my own age i can trust will never hurt me. if you're reading this stones, evington and lewis, as you should be because i told you YOU ARE MY TARGET AUDIENCE, i love you i do. let's all see eachother soon.

ryan and fran got me thinking in nando's. we were talking about love lives and they said "what's going on with you then vicky?" (still find it hard to get used to people calling me vicky when i'm so used to victoria at college!) and as a joke i said "oh i'm having a full on romance" and they both started pissing themselves, like the idea of me having a relationship is hilarious. which to be fair it is. i've been single (not counting 1 week fling type things) for over two years now which does sound a bit ridiculous, but honestly i just can't find anybody to interest me enough for a relationship or if i can there's some factor that stops me from going for it- normally they're taken/emotionally unavailable/not interested in a 5"2 idiot who looks like topshop vommed on her. i've never been desperate though, i'm a firm believer that 'good things come to those who wait' and the reason why i'm so lacking on the romance front is that the right person simply hasn't come along yet, or if they have, i just can't see it. i'm quite irritating when it comes to men, i'll lust after a guy for ages and then the minute they're interested i'm turned off. last year for instance, i had a big thing for this boy in my friendship group at school who i was really close to. i watched in exasperation as he worked his way through all the girls we were friends with until finally it was my turn. and when it came down to getting it on with him, it was just like going through the motions, i didn't really feel anything except for "i might as well be kissing him, i've wanted it for so long". and after that one night where we were more than friends, we just reverted back to being good mates again, no awkwardness, no nothing. i'm good at being friends with boys, it's just a shame that i can never bring myself to be more. it's a shyness thing more than anything (yes i know, me, shy?!) but when i like someone, they never know about it, because i'm so scared of that feeling called rejection which over the past couple of years i've got to know all too well.

anyway i'm going to stop being all 'woe-is-me' about such silly matters. i might just turn lesbian. haha memories of being come on to by a really butch young woman in tenerife. bless. maybe it's because of fran's resemblance to katy perry? hmm, at least there's life in this old dog yet, i'm still attracting the lesbians!

and on that note, i've decided to go out on the town and get some lesbian action. expect me in college tomorrow with a crew cut and an eyebrow piercing with "cindy" tattooed on my arm. oh my gosh, my brother is playing sean paul's temperature in his room, forgotten how obsessed i was with that song circa 2005. time to groooove.

a bientot, you-can-call-me-victor x

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